Sacrifices
by ShadowOfApate
Summary: When Willow restores Angels soul, something goes very wrong, and she gets sent to hell in his place.


Title: Sacrifices  
Chapter: One/?  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairing: Angel/Buffy, Willow/Oz, Willow/Buffy  
Fandom: Buffy  
Time line: This is an alternate ending to the episode where Willow gives Angel his soul back.  
Spoilers: Only for that season in question.  
Note: This story is the result of my sick fevered imagination.  
Beta Reader: Gremlin

Summary: What if when Willow gave Angel his soul back something went wrong?

Disclaimer: Not mine 

  
PROLOGUE  


" Xander!! Pay attention." She grabbed her old friend by the shoulders, holding back the  
temptation to slap off the angry look on his face. " You have to tell Buffy to stall. Tell her  
I'm going to try again."

" No..." 

" Xander, so help me if you don't get your butt over to the mansion, I'm going to personally  
feed you to Oz." She growled dangerously through her teeth, " Now. GO!!!!"

She forcefully pushed him out the doors, and walked into the circle. As she closed it, she  
could feel power starting to flow through her. It was incredible, the connection to her  
surroundings, her hyper sensitive senses.

She sat down in the center, and carefully began the process of saving her friends lover.

She struggled back to her feet and leaned against the wall. It was too late to stop the  
ceremony. The only thing left to do was use his blood to close the portal. The question was  
whether it would be by his volunteering or her killing him.

" Buffy!!!"

She glanced over hopefully at Xander as he burst into the room. His face was caught in a  
range of rage and hate. If he was here then that meant Willow...

" Kill the bastard."

She inhaled sharply. She had prayed that Willow would be able to pull a miracle out of the  
hell mouth. But when did the gods ever give them a miracle?

Lifting the sword into her hand, she turned back to the man she loved, and started towards  
him. The bastard that wore Angel's face seemed unconcerned about her, or even about the  
blonde that was currently standing behind him.

She smiled darkly at the vampire. It was time to end this, once and for all.

The blonde twirled a crow bar rapidly. He lifted his cigarette to his lips and inhaled deeply,  
the smoke surrounding him in a last rite. He looked over at her, nodding ever so slightly,  
slamming the crowbar into the back of his sires head.

The figurine in Angelus hands fell to the ground, shattering into dozens of pieces, scattering  
across the room in an explosion of red light. The blinding ball of energy engulfed them in  
waves of painful light, then retracted quickly into a third dimensional sphere over her lover.

She crossed the remaining distance between them, and launched a kick into his side, turning  
him onto his back. The vampire seemed to arch up in a silent cry of pain, as she slammed the   
sword into his chest, leaving him pinned to the floor on the embedded weapon.

" I'm sorry..."

His brown eyes snapped open in painful awareness, not a hint of the demon left.   
" Buff...AHHHH!!!!!..."

She stepped back in a haze of confusion, unable to take her eyes off Angel. His body was  
phasing in and out of mass, it was almost like... She watched horrified as his body seemed to  
blend with a woman's. 

She could make out a red haired female's body shifting in and out of existence in rapid  
succession with the vampire. She struggled to make out the face of the woman, but the change  
was happening to fast for her to make it out.

" Bloody hell..."

" Oh god..."

She ignored both men as the phasing seemed to slow down, and the vampire arched again,   
howling in unimaginable torment, leaving a female with long red hair in his place. She wanted  
to go to the girl, to see who it was, but a fear greater than any enemy she had ever faced kept  
her trapped in place.

The female lifted her head from the widening pool of blood, and stared up at the sphere  
through lost green eyes, letting her look at the woman she'd just condemned to an eternity in  
hell.

" ...no..." She whispered softly, backing away from the green eyes turning to look at her. 

She wanted to run, to block out the horrible death rattle in the hackers chest. To turn away  
from the scared eyes of the one person she'd sacrifice her soul for. To let the world perish  
rather than face the current future.

" I...love...yo..." 

" Stop it!!!" Xander shouted, sprinting for the dying girl.

The red orange flaming doorway seemed to explode in on itself, sending them flying back.  
She screamed out uselessly. Trying to battle against the waves to get to her friend. 

The light brightened, harsher, stronger, blinding her to what was going on around her, even  
as she crawled along the wood paneled floor. The roar was deafening to the point of being  
nothing but white noise with no texture to cling to. Than it stopped.

No light, no noise. Nothing. Just their ragged breathing over the quiet neighborhood.  
Wearily, she raised her head, and looked over at the embedded sword. Blood. It covered a  
hastily shaped area about the size of her friends body, still expanding out.

" Dear god, what happened?"

She let her watcher help her to her feet, ignoring the question written across his face. Her  
eyes were instead focused on the vampire that entered behind Giles. He was walking towards  
the sword with an expression that made her want to scream out from the pain at seeing it.

" HOW DARE YOU??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The dark haired teenager roared out, launching himself at  
the vampire.

She watched as Angel simply let Xander knock him to the floor, just lying there lifeless as the  
teen punched him over and over. She wanted to stop him, to tell him to stop... anything, but  
she couldn't.

" Stop it, stop it! Just stop it, right now!!" Giles ripped his glasses off, yanking the angry teen  
off the vampire. " This isn't helping anyone, much less Willow. Now what we need to do is   
figure out what happened, and try to reverse it."

" It's my fault..."

The whispered words registered in her numb mind. Bringing back the earlier adrenalin. Buffy  
didn't even remember how she got from where she stood against the wall, to the table she had  
her friend pinned to. She only knew the sudden homicidal rage that she was only holding off  
with a thread of rapidly fading self control.

" What. The. Hell. Did. You. Do!!!" She growled softly in a distant cold voice that she dimly  
recognized as her's.

The young man didn't seem to notice as he stared at the ceiling through streams of tears.  
" She told me to tell you, but...I hated him. I wanted him to pay, for Jenny, for taking your...  
I wanted him to suffer."

She slammed the boy down into the table harder than was safe, but not as hard as she wanted.  
" TELL ME WHAT YOU DID!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

" Buffy I don't think..."

" Willow performed the spell." He whispered dully. " She performed the spell. She  
thought... She thought she could do it this time."

Buffy backed away from the man that she thought she could trust, the one person that she  
thought they could depend on. But now... now because of him their best friend was dead.   
Except instead of going to a heaven dimension... Oh god...

" Buffy I didn't mean... I just thought..."

" What!!! That you'd have me send a souled Angel to hell instead?!" She clenched her fists  
through red anger. " Don't ever talk to me again."

" How...?"

Giles avoided looking at the vampire as he answered quietly. " In the theory, Buffy must have  
pushed the sword through your heart right when she activated the orb. Assuming that the  
portal began to pull him into hell at that moment, it would've been like a magnet, taking the   
most innocent of the two."

" Why?" She choked out through her tears, needing to know that there was something they  
could do to get her back.

" Because the most innocent is the most... tempting and satisfying." Angel responded hoarsely.

Giles nodded absently, " I doubt there is much we can do at this point, but if there is, we will   
try to find it."

" There is no try. We will get her back."

She glared at the young man, " Yes, WE, will." She spun on her heel and turned to leave,  
stopping at the door. She slowly glanced back at the Xander, " If we don't get her back, I  
will kill you."

Giles shook his head as she stormed out of the mansion, his own expression caught between a  
ripper like rage and pity for the boy. Giles could understand the hate he felt for the vampire,  
but at the cost of risking Willow...?

" Give her time." He finally said. " She'll learn to trust you again."

" I don't even trust myself anymore." Xander slowly walked off in a hunched daze, leaving  
Giles alone with the man that killed his lover.

" I'll try and contact Whistler, maybe he'll have an idea."

" At the risk of repeating Buffy, if we can't rescue Willow I will kill you." He replied calmly,  
replacing his glasses. " If you find out anything, you will let me know?"

" Of course."

Giles nodded, casually following the path of his two students.

" And Giles..."

He stopped at the door.

"...if we can't get her back, I'll save you the trouble and stake myself."

Buffy entered the house that had always seemed like a sanctuary from the world that her and  
her friends battled everyday. She remembered all the dinners, and late night's they'd spent just  
talking on the sofa, or in her room. Simply living. A task that never seemed harder than on a  
hell mouth.

" I think we should talk."

She closed her eyes to her mother's ' I know what's best ' voice, and slide down the door to   
the floor. " Let me guess. You don't think I should see my watcher anymore. You don't want  
me patrolling or doing my job, and I'm grounded until the day I die, does that about cover  
it?" 

She reopened her eyes and glared at the irritated woman that had given birth to her, laughing  
hollowly. " Well guess what mother. Nothing you could possible do to me could be as bad as  
what I just did."

The older woman slowly sat down next to her, wrapping her arms around her. " What's  
happened?" 

" I just condemned my best friend to hell." 

  
CHAPTER ONE  
DAY: ONE  


She shivered under the heavy worn black leather trench coat, forcing her body to keep  
moving towards the school. The reflective sunglasses was the only thing keeping her calm  
enough to stand being around the students milling around her, mindless to the everyday dangers  
that haunted the small city.

The entire situation struck her as being entirely too surreal to even be real. The bright joyous  
sun singing out in praise of the fresh green grass and the warm summer day. Each flower  
standing proud under the gentle sea breeze.

It was wrong, but a lot of things were wrong.

She paused briefly in the shadows of the trees. Even from the distance she could clearly see  
the slayer walking stiffly up the side walk, with Xander trailing behind her. Cordy was beside  
him, talking animatedly to both of the teens, ignoring the way that they seemed to be avoiding  
each other. 

She could understand how Buffy might be angry with him, or how he could blame himself  
for what happened. It didn't matter though. If she had to do it all over again, she'd do it  
exactly the same. Just the idea of Angel going through that... No, she couldn't have let him go  
in her place.

She pushed the sunglasses further up her nose, making sure that the shields were close enough  
to her eyes to block out the sun. If she was going to do this, it was going to have to be now.

Grinding her teeth together, she pushed herself off the tree and slowly began to walk  
towards her old friends. Each step threatening to falter under the dread that she felt. She  
wasn't nervous or even afraid, not after the last thou... not after that summer.

It was of a deep seeded dread of actually facing her life again. She could pretend things were  
normal, she could pretend to be the same happy go lucky hacker that she was, but it would be  
a lie, and she knew she would never be able to go back to that.

It would be so much easier if she could just change her name and move to France, or New  
York. Then she could start a new life, with no responsibilities, no pretenses. Just her ghosts and  
the memories that would never leave her. But no matter how she felt, she owed her friends  
more that that.

Her jaw convulsed against the on wave of chills, bringing her back to her present situation. A  
place she couldn't get far from these days.

Hell, maybe it wasn't too late to change her mind. She could go home, create herself a new   
identity and get the hell out of dodge before anyone was wiser. 

" Willow...?"

Then again maybe not. 

She came to a stop in front of the group seated depressingly on the front steps, taking in their  
appearances up close. Xander's hair was without the usual gel and mouse, his face had a dust of  
hair from not shaving. Cordelia was as put together as ever, but there was a seriousness that  
hadn't been there before. And Buffy...

She looked the worse out of all of them. The already painfully thin petite was even skinner.  
Dark circles surrounded blood shot eyes. The normally well dressed girl was wearing old jeans  
and a faded shirt with a pair of raggedy sneakers. But the worst thing was her eyes. The cold,  
lifeless, hopeless eyes that seemed to want to rip away any walls she had in place.

The slayer stood slowly, staring at her as though she might disappear any moment. The  
blonde's hands were shaking uncontrollably with the tears that streamed down her pale face.   
Buffy stepped forward once, then again, throwing herself into her arms.

She winced against the instincts that forced her body to tense at the physical touch of her  
friend. Despite the need to be hesitant against any display of emotion, she wrapped her arms   
around the sobbing girl. Every doubt, every shred of blame and hate, fell away to the need to  
protect the blonde in her arms. 

" I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never should have let you help me... It's my fault. I'm so sorry..."

She didn't try to correct her, she couldn't. She couldn't lie, even to ease the pain of the one  
person that meant the most to her. The one person that kept her grounded through the  
summer.

" What the hell happened to your hair? Love the outfit by the way." 

She flinched at the mention of hell, losing any interest she had in comforting her friends.

" I think we should talk with Giles." She finally said.

She stepped away from the slayer, and walked past the stunned group. She hated doing this,  
but if she let herself slip, for even a second, she was scared she'd break down. She pushed  
through the doors into the hall, making her way agilely through the crowded building.

" What happened to Oz?" She asked as they rounded the final corner.

" He left." Buffy pressed in next to her, " He was afraid of what he might do if he stayed."

" Oh." She had expected that. As a werewolf, his emotions were closer to the edge than they  
were for humans, and if he even remotely blamed any of them for what happened...

The library doors opened under her hands, letting her enter the sacred place of her life. The  
dust covered, leather bound books that smelled of ancient ink and ancient secrets. The dark  
lighting that made you want to curl up in front of a fire and doze. The friendly face that was  
always there to greet you, and help you with anything you needed.

It was a life time ago, and yet, she could still recall the hours spent on the second floor by the  
window, just reading whatever book caught her eye. The nights of research in order to save a  
great less town from a fate they deserved.

" My god..."

Her head snapped around at the movement in the corner of her eye. She spun to face the  
elder watcher, cringing at the motion towards her. She unconsciously stepped back from him,  
her mind automatically screaming that he was a man.

" I apologize. I didn't mean to startle you."

Great. Now he looked like he was going to cry or something.

" I guess I'm still a little jumpy."

She leaned back against the wall by the doors, wearily watching everyone. This wasn't how  
she'd planned this, or even how she'd wanted it. She'd just assumed that everything would fall  
back to normal.

" That's perfectly understandable." Giles cleared his throat awkwardly. " When...when did  
you get back?"

" And what's with the clothes?"

She smirked at the glares that Cordy kept getting. It was good to know that some things  
didn't change, no matter what happened.

" Last week."

Again Buffy was at her side, touching her arm to reassure herself that she was really there.  
" Why didn't you tell me?"

The hurt was pronounced in her friends eyes, bringing out the last shred of protective instinct  
she had left. If the slayer had put herself through even a small fraction of what she'd gone  
through over the summer, than that was a fraction too much.

" I wasn't ready to see anyone yet." She welcomed the slayer back into her arms. Cradling her  
gently to her body in an act that was comforting, even to her own scarred soul. It was calming,  
to smell the gentle vanilla perfume, to feel the muscular petite body pressed possessively against  
her's.

" Perhaps it would be better if you went home. I can arrange for Xander to bring you your  
school work later..."

" No." Buffy pulled away from her, and glared at the boy at the table. " I don't want him  
anywhere near her."

Well, that answered one question. She sighed heavily at the obvious dynamic of the group.  
" I'm not going home, and I'd appreciate it if you'd ask me before threatening my friends."

The slayer looked at her incredibly, resembling a fish. " You can't possibly..."

" Xander's my best friend. He's always been there to protect me, no matter what."

" He sure as hell wasn't protecting you when he sent you to hell." 

" It wasn't entirely his fault."

Buffy slammed her fist onto the nearby counter with an angry growl. " If he had..."

" No." She interrupted equally angry. " If you hadn't come to Sunnydale then I never  
would've been in that situation to begin with. If Giles had never agreed to let us help we  
would've been safe in our homes. If you hadn't given Angel a happy then the spell would've  
been unnecessary. If Angelus hadn't killed Miss. Calendar then I wouldn't have had to play   
witch. If Xander hadn't been following you around like a lost puppy then he never would've  
been so caught up in his own jealous rage. If you had taken the time to realize it was you I was  
really in love with then I never would've tried so hard to make you proud. If you hadn't  
shoved that sword through his chest..." She trailed off through her own shaking anger. " The

only problem is, that playing what if doesn't change a damned thing, and even if it did. I  
wouldn't want it too."

Buffy reached for her again through the silent tears that streamed down her face. "  
Willow..."

She almost smiled as the warning bell went off, reminding them that the normal world waited   
for no apocalypse. " We should get to class."

Buffy nodded, and turned her wrist over to check her watch. " Wh... Damn it. I know I was  
wearing it this morning."

Willow glanced at the slayers bare wrist with a strangely emotionless face. Pulling her hand  
out of her coat she handed the sports watch to the blonde. At the surprised look she shrugged  
sheepishly. " I guess habits really are hard to break."

Without waiting for their answer she left the library. She'd deal with the repercussion of the  
summer later, for now, she was just another teenager wanting to be somewhere else.

" Willow?"

She glanced up from her seat against the large oak tree. She had heard the slayer  
approaching a couple of minutes earlier, but figured that running was pointless. Especially considering how tansies Buffy could be.

" About earlier..."

" You don't have to explain." Buffy moved to sit next to her, " Just try to refrain from taking  
my wallet. I need that."'

" I'll do my best."

" I want you to move in with me."

Now that was surprise, even she hadn't been expecting that one. " I appreciate the offer  
but..."

" I'm not asking you." Buffy looked over at her with her own version of a resolve face. " I've  
been talking it over with my mother for a couple of weeks now, and we both agreed that  
when you got back that you would stay in the guest room."

" I'm fine Buffy."

" No you're not, and don't try telling me you are. Right now, I don't want you staying by  
yourself, and we both know that your parents haven't even noticed you were missing." 

Oh, this was bad, this was very bad. She couldn't do it, nope, it was to dangerous not to  
mention bad. Very very bad. There was no way she'd let her friend talk her into this, nope   
never. She would not give in.

" Willow!!"

" Eep." She tried to fight her way out of the restraining hug that Buffy's mother seemed to  
have gotten her in when she wasn't paying attention. Something that was the blonde's fault.  
Why the hell did she have to look so enticing in a pair of old...tight...low cut...jeans?  
" Breathing becoming an issue..."

" I'm sorry. It's just such a relief to see you. We were all so worried about you." The older  
woman stepped away, looking her over critically with a motherly cluck. " What have you  
been eating? Your practically skin and bones. Well, we'll just have to fix that. You girls go get  
settled and I'll fix a snack..."

" But..."

She glared over at Buffy as the slayer dragged her bodily up the stairs with her other suitcase  
firmly in hand. 

" Trust me, it doesn't do any good. When she's like that, she's worse than Snyder." Buffy  
grinned back at her. " Besides, you could use some mothering."

She growled at the slayer pushing her into the guest room, ready to make a break for it. All  
she wanted to do was to crawl into bed, and try to get some semblance of sleep before she  
passed out from exhaustion. 

" Look, why don't you try to take a nap? I can have mom save you a plate for later."

She smiled for the first time all day and nodded. " Thanks."

" Hey, Willow?"

She glanced over at her friend. " Yeah." 

" About what you said earlier. About you're..."

" Being in love with you?"

Buffy nodded, " Did...did you mean that?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, " I wouldn't have said it if I hadn't."

" I..." 

" Don't." She swallowed hard under the look of love in the slayers eyes. " I can't handle that  
right now." Turning from the hurt in her friends eyes, she began unpacking.

She didn't stop until she heard the soft click of the door closing.. She hated herself for  
hurting the woman she loved but she couldn't bare to let her get close enough to her for them  
to be anything other than friends. Not now, and not ever.

" How is she?"

" She decided to take a nap."

Her mother nodded, keeping her hands busy with the stack of sandwiches she was making.  
Every once in a while the older woman would look over at her with a calculating expression   
that would normally worry her.

" Did something happen?"

" I..." She had told her mother about what her friend has said before she died. About what  
she felt for the babbling red head that seemed to always know what to say to make things  
seem less horrible. " She admitted her feelings for me."

" That's wonderful." Joyce beamed at her before getting a confused look on her face. " Isn't  
it?" 

" She wouldn't let me say it back. She said she couldn't deal with my feelings right now."

" Well, honey, she did just get back from hell. You can't possibly expect things to go back to  
normal." Joyce came over to sit next to her. " I'm sure that she just needs some time to heal."

" Yeah, I guess I was just so caught up in the idea of being able to be with her, that I forgot  
that there were issues." She sighed heavily. She was such a ditz.

" I'm sure that everything will work out in the end. Just give her some time to adjust." Joyce  
patted her hand, standing up to go back to work. " In the mean time, why don't you help me  
get dinner ready?" 

She nodded, casting a futile glance towards the living room. All she really wanted to do was  
go upstairs and hold the red head in her arms, to make sure that she never lost her again 

The sweat streamed into her eyes, burning horribly mixed with the foul breath of the  
toothless old man. She shut her eyes against the sight of the face twisted in concentration with  
each invading thrust. The gasping grunts drowned out by the sounds of the alley. Strays  
fighting over spoiled garbage. Other women working for enough money to feed themselves,  
and their families. The loud clanking of the hoofs against the littered wet streets.

The wall behind her scrapped at her barely covered back. Catching her hair in tangles of  
nests. She winced at the clawed hands scraped and pulled at her bare hips, giving him the  
added friction needed to grind painfully against her one last time. The nauseating explosion making it  
even harder to remain calm.

She watched as he clumsily refastened his pants, finding the act just as disgusting as the  
other. The deformed, arthritic fingers curled into talons, yanked out a small wad of bills and  
pressed them into her hand. His crooked, overly wide black silver eyes winking lidlessly at  
her, before sauntering off.

She shook her head at the strange man's behavior wondering briefly if their really was such a  
thing as demons after all, but quickly dismissing it for the bloody legends they were. ' I'd  
better stop working night's, 'fore that ripper nonsense starts ta gat ta me. '

" Excuse me."

She faltered at the mouth of the alley at the musical lint that floated towards her. The  
sudden fear of the shadowed man, made no sense to her, other than the fact that he was a   
stranger around those parts. Then again, he might have been hiring other women, and with  
the shorting supply of working girls, the one's that were still able to work were in higher demand. 

" H're now, wh're you t'lkin to me?"

The tall lean man stepped from the shadows with a gentle smile on his rugged face. There  
was nothing handsome about him, but he wasn't exactly ugly either. He seemed to be a plain man  
with almost artistic characteristics.. His face was shadowed from having gone unshaven, and  
his hair was mussed, with heavy waves. The smell of turpentine stunk from his body mixed with  
the paint stains that covered his hands.

" I was wondering if you would be willing to do one more... job."

" I d'n't know. I've b'n at it all night already..."

He pulled a thick wad of bills from his pocket and handed it to her. " I promise this won't  
take long. Just a few minutes is all I want."

" Alright then, let's get it ov'r with. I h've to be getting along." 

" Of course."

She lead him to her small room off the alley, too tired to care about showing her home to a   
complete stranger. Besides, he seemed like a nice enough fellow. She couldn't see him trying  
to harm a living soul. He seemed more like the pansy type, always being the perfect gentleman.

She gasped out as he yanked her tightly into his body, kissing her harshly until she felt blood  
coming from her lips. She tried to push him away, but his hands were bruisingly squeezing  
and kneading her body.

The sudden tear of her hair as he tangled his hand through her hair, grinding her face even  
closer to his. She scratched at his face desperately, hoping to drive him away from her.  
Instead, she felt herself being forced onto the bed, his knees prying her legs open.

She screamed into his mouth, pushing uselessly against his shoulders. She heard the man   
unfastening his pants then suddenly... No!!!!!!!!

She bite at his tongue and lips, beating her hands against his back, head, and back. But it  
only seemed to make him more excited, more needy, driving the sea of pain deeper into her soul.  
She whimpered at the feel of blood running freely down the insides of her thighs and pooling  
around her lower body.

Her mind started to retreat as the long thin blade of the scalpel pressed into her throat,  
slicing back in a deep arch, cutting off her cries of mercy. Then there was nothing but  
pain...

" Willow!!!!!!!!"

She growled at the person on her, using her strength to roll them over and pin the person's  
hands above their head. She opened her eyes to glare down at the...blonde. The demon in  
her seemed to calm some what at the loving gaze of the slayer.

She let go of the blonde, ashamed of herself, of letting her secret out. She closed her amber  
eyes so that she wouldn't have to see the disgust and hate on her friends face. Warm lips  
pressed against her's, requesting entrance to her mouth. 

Unable to deny her friend anything, she deepened the kiss, her fangs running over the slayer's  
tongue. She slide her hands under the slayers shirt, caressing the soft skin of her sides. The   
slayer gripped her nightshirt, ripping it open, spraying buttons across the room.

She shuddered as her nude body pressed into Buffy's thinly clad body, wrenching her mouth  
from the blondes. She latched her lips onto the slayers neck, nibbling at the pulse just below  
the skin. Her fangs sliced across the vein, burrowing them into the vein. The warm blood  
rushing into her mouth, filling her with a soothing effect that seemed to make it easier to   
think.

Slowly she disengaged her fangs from her friends neck and stared down at the slayers body.  
Her eyes were gazing up at the ceiling lifeless.

" Buffy?" She grabbed the slayers wrist, searching for some sign of a pulse. " Nononono,   
Buffy, come on. This isn't funny. Buffy?! BUFFY!!"

" Willow, wake up..."

Her eyes snapped open through the blanket of sweat covering her shaking body. " Buffy?"

The blonde smiled down at her, " You sounded like you were having a pretty bad dream."

" Y-yeah." She tightened her hold on the slayers shirt, dragging the petite blond closer to   
her. Loosening her grip only when the slayer wrapped her in her arms. She pressed her ear  
to Buffy's chest, listening to the gentle rhythm of her heart, reassuring her that it had only been a   
dream.

" Memories."

" What?" 

She turned her face into the slayers neck, pressing her lips against her pulse point in a kiss. "  
It wasn't a dream. It was a memory."

The slayer shivered under her caresses, her breath hitching dangerously in her throat. " A-  
about your time in hell?"

She nodded silently, and looked up at her friend. " Make it go away."

" I would if I could."

She ground the full length of her body into Buffy's, her lips hovering over the slayer's. " You  
can." 

" I don't think..."

" Thinking is bad." She whispered claiming her friend's lips in a penetrating kiss.  
Consequences be damned.

  
NIGHT: ONE  


The body laying on her's seemed to keep the cold at bay, letting her find comfort in her  
being alive.. It was such a simple little thing that she'd always taken for granted. Body heat.   
What is it they say? You never know what you're missing until it's gone?

" I lov..."

She dived into the slayers mouth. Quieting the words that scared her more than she cared to  
admit. She just couldn't handle any mental intimacy. She just couldn't. " Promise me you  
won't ever say that unless I ask you too."

" What? Why?" The slayer propped herself up on her elbow to look down at her.

" When I said I needed you I meant it. I can't explain it, I just... I need the physical  
closeness, but the emotional... It's too much for me right now."

The slayer nodded sadly, leaning down to chastely kiss her. " I'll wait for you as long as I  
have to. I should let you get some sleep..."

" Stay." She held onto the other woman desperate for the safety she offered her. " Please."

Buffy seemed to brighten slightly as she settled back down against her. " You don't need to  
ask me twice. Mmmm. Goodnight..."

" Night." She whispered back, letting her hand run down the slayer's back. She had a feeling  
that no matter what she did, that it was going to be a long night. 

Chapter: One

  
Night: One  


She took a deep drink of the heady, warm thick liquid in the styrofoam cup. The metallic  
taste slid over her tongue in a burst of exquisite flavor before going down her throat. The  
idea of drinking blood was still disgusting to her, but the taste, and the instinct was incredible,  
and unfortunately, very necessary.

She felt bad about sneaking out on the slayer in the middle of the night, but she had felt the  
constant need to be out among the night life. To feel the moon beating down on her skin, the  
magic of the air threading around her, bringing her closer to peace than she'd find otherwise.

"...stupid...irresponsible...witches with delusions of grandeur...I should know too..."

She grinned in spite of herself, heading off towards the mausoleum, She could recognize that  
voice in an ocean of jello with ear plugs. A voice she'd never been so glad to hear in her life.  
She picked up her pace, intent on finding her mentor and friend.

" Fay?"

She came to a halt as she rounded the corner of the stone building, unsure whether she'd  
finally gone completely mad, or if the gods had decided to play a cruel trick on her. On the   
tombstone that marked Jane Walkers grave, was a black bat, pacing across it while ranting in  
the eerily familiar voice of her teacher. Yet, through all the fur, she could clearly see the   
striking resemblance to the gorgeous witch she admired.

"Fay? Wh-what happened?"

The bat in question spun sharply on her heel and poked at the air towards her. " You!!! This  
is all your fault. You and your damned self-righteous attitude. Why the hell couldn't you kill,  
slaughter, and plot like a normal demon? But would you? Noooo. Miss I'm oh so innocent just  
had to keep playing the angelic part."

She rolled her eyes behind the reflective sunglasses. Some things just didn't change, no matter   
what the decade or setting. " It's good to see you, too. Now, do you want to tell me why  
you're a bat? Or would you like to stay here and rant all night?"

The bat tucked her wings behind her back, dropping her head to her chest in a pose that   
struck Willow as incredibly vulnerable. " Did you really hate me so much that you didn't want  
to bring me with you?" 

" What?! No, of course not. Fay, if I'd known, I would have found some way to get you out  
of there."

The bat plopped down onto the tombstone and began to fidget with a leaf that had landed  
beside her. " I know. They didn't exactly warn you."

She sat on the ground in front of the bat, a habit that she'd gotten used to over the years in  
the hell dimension; A young student caught up in the magic that only her teacher could create.  
" So?"

The bat visibly regained her demeanor. " It seems that the Powers That Be have decided that  
my soul is worth redeeming."

" In the form of a bat?"

" Apparently they think it's funny to send me back as your familiar."

She laughed. She couldn't help it. She'd spent so much time with her mentor just debating  
what kind of animal she might end up with for a familiar, and one of the most popular ideas  
had been a bat.

" Oh, sure, laugh at the bat." The bat grumbled at her darkly, " It's not like bats have  
rights."

" I'm sorry Fay, but even you have to admit that it's funny." She reached up and scratched the  
furry creatures chin, finding it even funnier when the bat leaned into the caress. " Come on, let's  
go see if Buffy has anything edible for you to eat."

" I thought you knew better than to take strange bats home?"

She quickly scooped up the flying rodent, as the other presence made it's self known to  
her. Angel. I was wondering when you were going to get around to showing up."

" I wanted to apologize."

She held her arm up, letting the furry bat scurry up it and into the inside of her heavy leather  
trench coat. " There's nothing to apologize for."

" If it weren't for me..."

" Look, I already told the others that I won't play the what if's." She took another drink   
from her cup, hoping that the still warm blood would calm her nerves, Which seemed to be  
aware of his very presence.

" Do the others know about you being...?"

" No, not yet, and I'm not sure I want them to."

Angel nodded, absently running a hand through his hair. " If you keep sleeping with Buffy,  
she'll find out."

She smiled sadly at his pained statement. " Why aren't you with her?"

" I don't want to risk losing my soul again."

She couldn't believe how dumb someone as intelligent as he could be at times. " You won't.  
I made it permanent."

" You're sure."

" Yeah. When the powers sent me back they let me ask them a question."

" It doesn't matter, I can smell her on you..."

" It's only physical." She turned from him, trying to ignore the voice in her head telling her  
that she was breaking a major rule. She was almost glad when he fell into step with her.

" Does she know that?" 

" Yeah."

Angel moved directly into her path, his very stature warning her not to disobey him.  
"Childe, if you don't plan on giving her more than that, then break it off. I won't stand by and  
let either of you get hurt."

She stiffened at his order, her fangs sliding out of her gums in the silent rage she felt at his  
interfering. " Fine. If that's what you want, then I'll tell her in the morning."

She read the disappointment in his face, all too aware that he had been trying to goad her  
into admitting her love for the blonde slayer. She quickly drained the rest of the cup and  
pushed it into his chest as she moved around him.

" I'll see you at the scooby meeting this evening, sire."

" Willow..." 

She raised her hand to him, using his own trick to fade into the shadows.

" Well. That was fun." The bat smirked wickedly at her, " So what are we going to do  
tomorrow?" 

" What we do everyday Pinky, try and take over the world." She muttered.

" Huh?!

She sighed heavily at the confused bat. ' Why me? '

  
DAY: TWO  


" Don't I get a say in this?"

She ground her teeth together harshly at the stubborn slayer's reaction, and her mother... She  
rolled her eyes. The minute she'd asked to speak to the slayer in private, Mrs. Summers had  
suddenly remembered something she needed to do in her office.

" No, you don't."

" Damn it Willow. I lost you once already, and I won't lose you again." Buffy began to pace  
in front of her in an increasingly aggregated manner. " If all you want is a physical  
relationship..."

She smiled at the thump that followed that comment, along with a muffled curse that  
sounded like it had come from a certain curly blonde guardian.

"...then that's fine with me, I can be happy with that. Admittedly, having the whole  
emotional intimacy thing would be nice, but I can deal." Buffy turned to her with tears in her  
eyes. " Willow, please, don't do this. Whatever is wrong I'll fix it, just... give this a chance.  
Please?"

" It's not that simple."

Buffy glanced suspiciously at the bat that was currently sitting angelically on the kitchen table.  
To say that their initial meeting had gone badly would have been putting it lightly. At around  
five she had been woken rudely to the sound of dual high pitched screams, with loud thumps  
of wood on wood and animalistic screams of help. No, it had turned out very very badly. 

" Then explain it to me."

" There was another...side effect from my merging with Angel."

" You mean other than the love of leather?"

She grimaced slightly at Buffy's attempt to lighten the situation. The leather had been an  
issue that she'd tried desperately to explain without telling them anything. But the looks at the  
sight of her wearing leather pants, boots, and a trench coat had been cautious at best. Hell, it  
wasn't her fault that her body temperature was so low that she had to dress like this to stay  
even semi; warm.

" I...He..." She sighed, " I'm half vampire."

Buffy collapsed numbly into the chair she'd abandoned. " What do you mean you're half  
vampire?"

" I mean the only differences between me and a vampire are the lack of demon, and their   
normal weaknesses."

" Like sunlight..." 

" ...and holy water." She added hastily, avoiding listing the complete lack of weaknesses. She  
realized that she was every vampire's dream, and didn't really want to think about it any more  
than she had to. " My soul is permanent though." 

Buffy nodded absently, " Alright, I can deal with that. I did date Angel after all."

She turned to the bat who was trying to look bored by the conversation, not wanting to see  
the look on her now ex-lover's face with what she was about to say. " Angel is my sire, and last  
night... He's forbid me from being anything other than your friend."

" Move to the center of the ring and shake hands." The bat muttered.

" I'll kill him."

" Buffy..."

" This time I'll kill him..."

She jumped in front of the slayer, unsure what to do. Her loyalties were completely spilt in   
half. " Buffy, he's my sire, and as such, I can't let you hurt him."

The slayer stared at her incredulously. " Willow, he's trying to control our lives."

" He's my sire, he has that right."

Buffy glared over at the bat once more, which clearly said ' I know you were behind this. '  
" Either come with me, or get out of my way. I am going over there." 

She sighed heavily and nodded. " Fine. But if you try to kill him..."

" I know." Buffy paused to look over at the smirking bat. " Are you bringing that...that..." 

" Her name is Fay, and yes I am."

" Some slayer.."

She quickly scooped up the bat before Buffy could swoop in on her. " No ticking off the  
slayer." 

The bat hopped onto her shoulder, getting comfortable on the leather coat. " Oh, but it's so  
much fun."

" Fay..."

" Yeah, yeah, I know. No picking on the poor, helpless slayer." The bat began to chuckle at  
the Slayer's piercing look.

" If she decides to put you on her hit list, then you're on your own."

The bat grumbled. " Traitor."

She stepped further back into the shadows as the slayer's face turned red. It was a strangely  
sexy color on the slayer, but then again most colors looked sexy on the petite blonde.  
Although she did admit that seeing the slayer that color in the middle of a very... loud  
argument with her sire was more distracting than anything.

" I should have brought popcorn."

She snorted softly at the bat's antics. " You're sick, you know that?"

" Thank you." The bat said proudly, before getting caught up in the verbal assault taking  
place in front of them.

" You have no right..."

" As your friend..."

" That's right. My friend, not my father, not my brother..."

" I'm over two hundred..."

" ...years old...blah blah blah. Next you're going to give me the  
' I walked to school ten miles in the snow in bare feet' story..."

" I'm only trying to watch out..."

" I don't need another mother..." 

" She's half demon, she's spent centuries in hell..." 

" Don't you think I know that..."

" You might know that, but apparently the blonde hair has finally affected your logic..."

The bat whooped loudly, whistling her approval. " Oh, that was cold. It was below the belt,  
it was dirty. I love it!!"

" Don't you think I know what she's..."

She'd had it. Damn it, she was in the room. She wasn't some third person they could just bat   
back and forth like a tennis ball. " Okay, that's it. In case you two idiots hadn't noticed, I'm in  
the room."

" Willow..."

" Childe..."

" Don't. Willow, or Childe me." She glared at the two standing in front of her. " I have a say  
in all this, if you haven't forgotten in your enthusiastic discussion."

" Not if I don't say..."

" Oh, cut it out already." She scowled darkly at the vampire. " I know that you feel the need  
to protect me after what happened, but I was returned here for a reason. What, I don't know  
yet, but I do know it wasn't to have you control every single thing I do."

" You're right. I'm...sorry."

" And you..." She turned her glare at the smug looking slayer. " I hate to admit it, but Angel  
was right. It isn't right for me to keep you hanging in limbo like that, which is why I'm going  
to take his...advice." 

" What? Willow..."

" Don't. Please?" She turned away from their equally shocked faces.


End file.
